This week, I decided to change things up. I am going to start feeding myself positive self-talk. Negative self-talk comes too easy and while I use it as a motivator, it can very quickly become toxic.
This past weekend, my friend pointed out how mean I was being to myself. Granted, she was not the first to tell me this. However, I was still taken aback by her comment. I mainly felt this way because I was embarrassed, but also ashamed. Why was I giving my self such a hard time? How is that even helpful? And what’s the point of using it as a tool to make myself better if ultimately I push too hard and end up back in the cycle of progress followed by severe lack of progress?
In Amy Poehler’s book Yes Please, she describes negative self-talk as a demon.
“Hopefully as you get older, you start to learn how to live with your demon. It’s hard at first. Some people give their demon so much room that there is no space in their head or bed for love. They feed their demon and it gets really strong and then it makes them stay in abusive relationships or starve their beautiful bodies. But sometimes, you get a little older and get a little bored of the demon. Through good therapy and friends and self-love you can practice treating the demon like a hacky, annoying cousin. Maybe a day even comes when you are getting dressed for a fancy event and it whispers, “You aren’t pretty,” and you go, “I know, I know, now let me find my earrings.” Sometimes you say, “Demon, I promise you I will let you remind me of my ugliness, but right now I am having hot sex so I will check in later.”
I started reading her book this week and I took comfort in knowing that I’m not alone with this demon. It’s not like I had a sudden revelation, but sometimes it’s good to remind yourself that you’re not alone.
I reached out to my friend after she left to thank her for pointing out my behavior.
Her response: “Yeah I mean that’s my friend you’re talking smack about so quit it! Lol”
Do you have problems dealing with negative self-talk? Let me know in the comments!